Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Chapel Hill Bop

I remember feeling strangely elated after my 1st round of chemo. Thinking that wasn't so bad; I can do this! Feeling content in my delusion was sublime.

This a.m. the gaggle told me I was the least sick person on this floor ( amongst the cancer patients), but they still won't let me leave. Yesterday was my last day of chemo, but I understand the fun doesn't stop there. For now, I take whatever pleasures come my way. The door prize for chemo completion is I.V. disconnect. Untethered, unhooked, free to roam about as far as I can go in an hour and get back. That's right, there's a catch. You can't go very far or for very long, otherwise they put an APB out for you. Some insurance thing, I suppose.

For all intents and purposes, I feel pretty good. If it weren't for the plum colored, golfball sized hematoma above my clavicle and the plastic dredlocks coming out of my chest, you wouldn't know I was sick. There are less obvious side effects, but I don't know a lot of you well enough to talk about them. Now that I've completed chemo, we wait for my blood values to fall. When they get too low, they infuse more blood or platelets as needed, to bring them back up. I know, the myth of Sisyphus comes to mind.

The hardest part of this, recently, is finding food that doesn't make me nauseous. The choices aren't very auspicious. Hospital food is every bit as bad as you've heard. But, somehow I've found some item or combination of things that have given me sustenance Sweets, apparently, I can eat in abundance, but that too has side effects ( graphics deleted) in the end. There are a few things as of yet that bring me down. I'm grateful for all your cards and emails ( I love cards) that imbue strength and determination. I look forward to them everyday. Finally, I must say, that without my wife's help, I wouldn't get through this. I'm eternally grateful, ...forever and ever. Love Tom.

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