Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Happy Rebirth Day?

I had been doing well these few weeks at home. I was learning to address my condition with more spontaneity, increasingly able to appreciate the mundane and the familiar. I knew what was coming and I was determined to be prepared.

What's happening is that I've been sick for so long good news doesn't always register to me, I've become indifferent and resigned. My most recent biopsy shows that I have responded well to treatment. Well, that's apparently the guarded vernacular or a euphemism for remission. Jenel chants with cheerleader zeal how positive the results are. Reluctantly I ascede. My blood work improves with regularity every other day blood is drawn.

I've been resisting transfusion, even when my red blood cell count is low enough to require it, in the delusional belief that without the irradiated blood assistance, I'll get better on my own; Like I can promote my own blood production. While research has shown that bio-feedback is valid in some applications, unfortunately with me , I won't be having much of an impact on my own psychoneuroimmunology. With that being said, I know my disposition, neurotic as that may be, has been proven to be beneficial.

From recalcitrance comes great strength and implacable optimism. For now, I obediently hook up t0 IV antibiotics for 5 hours every day, take handfuls of pills to support my immune system, and visit a clinic every Mon., Wed., and Fri. to check my blood. Not exactly exciting but it gets me through the day without losing my mind to Fox News. For those of you who doubt my potential that was just some of my best optimism.

Subliminal commentary aside, I'm also defiantly walking every other day with Jenel. We're up to 2 1/2 miles now. My defiance isn't with Jenel (although she has quipped "that it's taken cancer for me to walk with her") it's in my effort to do it whether I feel like it or not. The recent peculiarities in the weather has been a wardrobe challenge for me . It's difficult to regulate my body temperature without hair. How many layers in conjunction with a variety of head dress I'm not familiar yet. Even in the house, I'll sometimes turn up the heat before I realize, all I need is a hat! A minor adjustment, I know, but one of many I'm learning to make every day. It's rather like a glimpse into old age,I suspect, and I only say that with the utmost reverence and perhaps a little sadness and I hope temporarily.

At the risk of being too optimistic, we're relatively comfortable planning for an April transplant. Doesn't that sound surreal? so unceremoniously contemplating the dates of what will be the most important day of my life. Well, perhaps, in time for my birthday on the 25th. A Rebirth, if you will. No details as of yet, too soon to speculate. We'll know more after an April 7th bone marrow biopsy that's been scheduled.

Maybe we'll have to start a pool, instead of March Madness, we'll have Auspicious April! The criteria could be determined by date and hematology. Maybe someone can come up with a strategy for a fund raiser. Have your people call my people. Meanwhile, The team in training program (The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society) is holding a golf tournament May 2nd in Magnolia Greens. If you haven't received a flyer with the details to register, please call me or Marylou. The efforts of this organization has helped to save my life. Again, remain as generous and charitable to others as you have been to me and please give blood.

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